


Slow Dancing in the Dark

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel Has Mental Health Issues (Supernatural), Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues (Supernatural), Castiel's Family is Rich (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Charlie Bradbury Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Denial of Feelings, Depressed Castiel (Supernatural), Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, tags might change later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:35:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24265216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Castiel keeps telling himself that Dean doesn't like him back, but when will they finally pull their heads out of their asses and just fuck already?THE CLASSIC HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS TO LOVERS AU
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Michael/Adam Milligan (Mentioned)
Kudos: 7





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> This fic as a LOT of dialogue but I hope you like it :)

**JUNE 12TH, 2019**

Castiel Novak-Shurley thanks the flight attendants and the pilot as he makes his way out of the first-class cabin. He was pretty jet-lagged considering he had just gotten off a ten-hour flight from Switzerland back to New York. He pulls out his phone to text his older brother Michael that he had just landed and that he would probably take a while because of all the customs shit he had to deal with. Since his flight landed at 2 in the morning, there weren’t a lot of people so the lines were average. About 30 minutes later, he was finally making his way towards the baggage claim area. Thankfully, his bag was one of the first few ones to come out onto the baggage carousel so he didn’t have to wait very long. He looks down at his phone, about to text Michael when he hears a familiar voice behind him.

“Heya, Cassie!” Castiel turns around to see his younger sister Anna running towards him, jumping up and pulling him into a tight hug practically strangling him.

“Hey, Anna…” he manages to get out, “I kind of need to breathe here.”

“Oh yeah, oops,” she says as she lets go of her brother. Castiel smiles at her and ruffles her auburn hair. He quickly goes to hug his older brothers Gabriel and Michael before they start to walk back to the car.

“So, how was boarding school?” Anna asks Castiel curiously.

“Yeah, how was _~college alpin boo solee~?_ ” Gabriel asks, purposely butchering the pronunciation. Castiel chuckles and rolls his eyes. It was nice being back home in New York with his family.

“It’s actually _Collège Alpin Beau Soleil_ and it was great, thank you very much,”

“Damn, those Switzerland kids made you a cocky son of a bitch,” Gabriel says with a hand over his chest pretending to be offended.

“Language,” Michael scolds Gabriel, “Anna’s here.”

“Hey! I’m not nine anymore!” she replies punching Michael lightly in the arm.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll always be nine to me,” Michael shoots back laughing.

They got back to the penthouse at around 4 am and Castiel takes a hot shower and collapses onto his large bed in the middle of the room. He eventually wakes up at noon and he stumbles down the stairs to eat breakfast. He slides into the stool at the kitchen island and shoves the fluffy pancakes into his mouth.

“Good morning, Castiel,” his mother Naomi greets him.

“Morning,” they sat in silence for a bit until Naomi finally speaks up.

“The others already know, but… we’re moving,”

“What?”

“Yes, we’re moving to Lawrence, Kansas,”

“Why?” _You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me._ Castiel thinks to himself.

“I’m starting my medical practice there. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but we will be leaving on Monday. Get your stuff packed,”

“Great! I was actually enjoying my and now I have two days to pack my shit just so we can move to _bumfuck_ Kansas to turn around your dumbass hospital. Where the hell am I even going to go to school?”

“You will be going to the public high school, Pinewood,”

“God-damn it,” he says, slamming his hand on the marble countertop and looking up at the intricate designs of the glass chandelier that he may never see again.

**AUGUST 20TH, 2019**

“Anna, hurry up, we’re going to be late!” Castiel huffs impatiently checking his Apple Watch. Earlier, he promised his mother that he would drive Anna to school as long as he didn’t have to drive with Michael and Gabriel, but he was immediately regretting that decision for Anna had a tendency to be late every day.  
“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” she replies with a half-eaten slice of toast in her hand.

“If you get crumbs in my new car, I will kill you,” he warns.

“I’ll try,” Anna smiled with a mouth full of chewed up pieces of toast.

“Gross.” Getting to the high school was already a 20-minute drive since they lived so far deep in the hills, but going to the middle school and then the high school added an extra 10-minutes that he didn’t have.

Surprisingly, Castiel manages to drop Anna off at the middle school, and still get to Pinewood on time. He meets this girl named Charlie in his painting class right before lunch and she invites him to sit with her and her friends.

“Alright, so, Castiel, meet Kevin Tran and Alfie Wright. Kevin and Alfie, meet Castiel Novak-Shurley. Wow, we’re besties now,”

“So, where are you from?” Alfie asks while he reaches into his bag.

“Yeah, I just moved here from New York in June,”

“Holy shit, really? I’ve always wanted to move to New York. Why’d you come out here to the middle of nowhere?”

“We came for my mother’s work,” Castiel explains, taking a bite out of the sandwich he bought from the vending machine. They talk for the rest of the lunch period and Charlie makes Cas a makeshift “guide” of the school.

“Who are they?” Castiel asks Charlie, looking at a big group of kids sitting in the middle of the cafeteria.

“That’s the Gucci Gang. The group of popular kids that think they’re better than everyone. There’s Dean, Benny, Meg, Gordon, Crowley, Alastair, Ruby, Bela, Arthur, Jo, Lisa, Pamela, and Victor,” Charlie begins.

“Benny, Meg, and Jo can be nice sometimes, the rest of them are dicks,” Alfie adds with a matter-of-fact tone. 

“True, that,” Charlie remarks, “the guy in the middle is Dean Winchester. Honestly, he’s probably slept with half the school.” Castiel slightly tilts his head to the left to get a better look at Dean and hot-damn he’s gorgeous. He’s wearing a black jacket with a black shirt underneath paired with dark jeans and he has short dirty blonde hair that’s styled upwards.

“Caaaass? Cas? You with us?” he hears Charlie ask with amusement creeping in her tone.

“He’s outta this world, he’s staring at Winchester,” Kevin says with a laugh.

“I was not,” Castiel retorts with a playful glare.

“Sure,” Alfie teases. The bell indicating the end of lunch rang and everyone starts to gather their shit to get to their next class.

“Well, peace out bitches!” Charlie announces, pulling a kissy face and a peace sign. Castiel throws his leftover wrappers in the trash and walks over to his locker to get his books for his last two classes of the day. He shoves 2 binders and a notebook into his bag and closes his locker carelessly. He turns to see a pale brunette girl approaching him. _Meg, right?_ He remembered Charlie telling him about her, and how she flirts with everyone.

“Hey, I’ve never seen you around, you new or something?” she asks, “sorry, I’m Meg.”

“Castiel, and yeah I just moved here from New York,”

“Oooh, New York… and what’s a guy like _you_ doing in a place like _this_?” Meg looks him up and down like a fucking snake which makes Castiel break into a nervous sweat like he was a 7th-grade kid trying to ask his crush out. He’s never really been flirted with before and he was always an awkward kid. He hears someone clear their throat behind him and he whips his head back to see Dean fucking Winchester standing right behind him. Castiel swallows loudly and he stares into those forest-green eyes and freckles. He could practically count all the light freckles that dusted the bridge of his nose and cheeks. He could’ve sworn that Dean’s eyes wandered down to his lips but he wasn’t entirely sure.

“Uh, Cas, right?” Dean let out a soft laugh, “personal space?” a flush creeps across Castiel’s cheeks and he manages to croak out, “oh, um, my apologies,” as he steps back.

“No worries,” Dean responds with a smile ghosting his lips, “sorry if my friend Meg was bothering you. She seems to do that to a lot of people,” Meg glares at Dean and quickly says, “Well, boys, I’m headed to math. See you soon, Clarence.”

“Again, sorry about Meg. She means well, she’s just playing around. I’m Dean by the way,”

“Castiel,”

“So, where you headed?” Castiel feels the inside of his pocket to find his schedule.

“Um, English with Mr Wyatt,”

“Hey, no way, I’m going there too,” Dean smiles, “come on, I’ll walk you over,” Castiel looks up at Dean and grins, “Thanks,”

Dean takes a seat next to one of his friends and Castiel finds a table that’s not far from Dean’s. He spends most of the class staring at Dean out of the corner of his eye and he thinks of the encounter that they just had. He imagines kissing Dean with his back against his locker in the empty hallway. The feeling of Dean’s hands around Castiel’s lower back and– _fuck, he just met the guy!_ Castiel tries to get through the rest of his day without thinking about Dean but he fails miserably.

The obnoxious electronic bell finally rang, signalling their freedom. Soon, students were spilling out of the classrooms onto the halls. For a high school in such a small town, there were a _shit ton_ of students. Castiel wasn’t accustomed to this many students in one school. Sure, he lived in a busy-ass city his whole life but all the schools he had ever gone to were private schools with maybe 20 people in his class. He quickly goes down the stairs to get to the main doors of the school that led to the parking lot. He climbs into the front seat of his grey Mercedes-Benz sedan and he starts the car. The middle school was only about a 5-minute drive away from the high school which was convenient.

Castiel pulls his car up to the pick-up zone and Anna was already waiting out front. “Hello Anna, how was school?” he asks while she throws her small navy blue backpack onto the backseat. She shuts the door behind her, “It was actually kind of fun! I met this kid Sam and we sat together during lunch,”

“Oooh, you got a crush?” he teases her, pulling out of the pick-up zone and onto the street. Anna giggles and tells Castiel to shut up. The rest of the drive home, they share their interesting first-day experiences.

Castiel kicks his shoes off at the large foyer of their new house at the top of the hill and he strides over to the kitchen. Naomi had just bought one of those Samsung Smart Fridges which Castiel thought was silly but there was a note feature that displayed a note that his mother had left them.

_Bartholomew and I will be home late today. - Naomi_

They often had dinner without their mother and Bartholomew since Naomi just started her private practice and Bartholomew was running his own law firm. Castiel grabs his bag and runs up the stairs to his large empty half-decorated bedroom. He pulls out his homework and starts to work until around five PM. “Hey, Anna,” he calls out to his sister sitting at the gazebo in the backyard, “you wanna go downtown with me?”

Anna grumbles loud enough for Castiel to hear from his room, “Yes, PLEASE.” He closes his laptop and walks out of his room shutting the door behind him. He grabs his keys and quickly typed out a note for his brothers on the fridge.

_Anna and I are heading downtown, we’ll be back around 7. - Castiel_

They head to Monroe’s Place, a diner that Anna thought was “aesthetically pleasing” since it was retro. “Alright, come on,” Castiel says, exiting the car. There is a slight _jingle_ as he opens the door. He scans the room for a seat and that’s when he sees Dean Winchester with he assumes his younger brother.

“Sam, hi!” Anna exclaims. She runs over to Sam and they sit together at a nearby table which leaves Castiel alone with Dean.

“So, do you come here a lot?” Dean asks, gesturing Castiel to sit down with him.

“Not really, no.” Castiel starts, “Anna just wanted to come here because it was ‘aesthetically pleasing’.”

“Sam makes me take him here because of the milkshakes,” Dean looks over at Anna and Sam and watches them affectionately. Castiel gazes at Dean’s soft features and how his eyes crinkle a tiny bit at the edges when he smiles.

Dean reaches for the menu in the center of the small table. “Let me get you something.”

“Oh, it’s alright, I can get myself something,” Castiel quickly responds.

“No, it’s okay.” Dean insists, “Plus, you’re new here. Consider it… a welcoming gift,” Dean hands Castiel the menu and his fingers lightly brush against Dean’s causing his breath to hitch slightly. Castiel calls Anna and Sam over to join him and Dean and Dean forces him to order the famous Monroe burger. When Castiel first bites into the burger, he practically moans, “Holy shit, that is so good.”

“Right?” Dean smiles as he passes the other plates of food to Anna and Sam.

“These make me… very happy.”

“Dude, have you never had a burger before?” Dean snickered.

“My mother says they’ll kill you.” Dean’s eyes crinkle at the edges again,

“It’s worth it.” The four of them sit at the table and chatter until all the food is gone and the sun has already set. Castiel checks the time on his Apple Watch and curses under his breath.

“This has been entertaining, but I’m afraid Anna and I have to start heading back.”

“Aw, well, it’s been fun. I’ll see you around Cas.” Dean says as he and Sam get up and start heading towards the door. Anna looks at Castiel with a smug look on her face.

“What?” Castiel asks her.

“Oh, you totally like him,” she says with a toothy grin.

“Well, you totally like Sam.”

“I told you already! I don’t! I’ve been helping him with his girl issues. He’s had a crush on this girl Eileen for like over a year now, it’s really cute.”

“Huh, well, I don’t like Dean. We’re just friends.” Anna rolls her eyes and starts to walk out the door.


	2. Just Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are any errors, I kinda rushed. Hope you like this chapter tho

**SEPTEMBER 6TH, 2019**

The first two weeks at Pinewood went pretty smoothly for Castiel. His daily schedule consisted of going to his first three classes, then brunch, then two more classes, then lunch, then spending his last two classes trying to pay attention to the teacher instead of Dean. During his English period, Castiel lets out a heavy sigh, setting his books down on the table and sliding into the chair. Mr Wyatt greets the students as they enter the classroom and starts the lecture once everyone was situated in their seats.

“Today, we will be starting a new project. I’ve assigned you your partners and you have until next week to complete it.” He grabs his laptop and starts reading out the list of partners. “Castiel and Dean, you two are partners.”

Castiel’s heart flutters the moment he hears Mr Wyatt call Dean’s name after his. He locks eyes with Dean, who is just a table away, cerulean blue against emerald green. Dean wanders over to Castiel’s table and takes a seat in the chair next to him.

“I guess we’re working together then,” Dean says with a grin.

“Yeah,” Castiel mutters and rubs the back of his neck.

“Should we meet up or something?” Dean asks.

Castiel shrugs. “We could do it at my place,” he suggests. “Is four an okay time?”

Dean nods and grabs a pen and a post-it note from the box in the middle of the table. “Here’s my number,” he explains, handing the post-it note to Castiel. “It’s a date.” Castiel smiles to himself and tucks the folded piece of paper into his pant pocket.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Castiel arrives back home with Anna at around 3:20 and pushes the button to close the garage door and follows Anna inside the house. He sees Gabriel sprawled out on the couch with a jumbo bag of Sourpatch Kids watermelon candies watching TikToks at full volume on his phone. Castiel groans, “Ugh, Gabe, could you… clean yourself up?” Castiel gestures at Gabriel’s ‘setup’. “My friend’s coming over later.”

Gabriel looks up at Castiel with a surprised look on his face. “Ooh, what friend?” Castiel rolls his eyes at his older brother and Anna snorts in the background.

“Probably his boyfriend, Dean,” Anna comments.

Castiel quickly glares at the redhead and changes the subject. “Where’s Michael?”

“Lacrosse,” Gabriel replies. Michael was pretty much the only one of the kids that did sports. It wasn’t that the rest of them were unfit, it was just that no one ever really cared enough about sports except for Michael. Castiel remembers to text Dean his address and he decides to change out of his clothes into more comfortable, yet presentable attire. 

He slides his closet door open and the motion-sensor lights flicker on. He changes into a dark grey sweatshirt paired with some black sweatpants he found in the back of his closet. He steps into his bathroom and runs his hand through his dark hair a few times before he was satisfied with the way it looked. He sprays a couple of spritzes of custom made cologne gifted to him by his mother and he looks at himself in the mirror. _This is just us hanging out and doing our project, nothing big._ He hears the doorbell ring and he shuffles down the stairs to let Dean in. He opens the front door and when Dean sees Castiel, he flashes Castiel a quite _boyish_ smile. _Oh my god, he’s fucking adorable._

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel greets. “Please, come in.”

Dean steps inside and looks around the huge high-ceilinged foyer. He looks back at Castiel and asks, “So, where should we go?”

“We could go to the office,” Castiel begins and Dean slightly nods his head in agreement, “come on, it’s this way.” Castiel leads Dean down the hall into the black and white room. They sit across from each other at the desk and Castiel pulls out a notebook from the shelf to start the planning process. They work together, occasionally making small talk with their knees slightly touching under the table. Castiel notices that Dean’s sleeves are rolled up and he catches a glimpse of Dean’s exposed forearm– large ragged pink scars littering his left arm. Castiel opts to ask about the scars, but he decides against it since they’ve pretty much only known each other for two weeks.

“You wanna take a break?” Dean asks, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“YES,” Castiel admits as he stands and runs his fingers through his hair. They find themselves sitting side by side on the outdoor couch on the patio. Castiel listens as Dean shares funny stories from his childhood and gives Castiel a list of the best places to hangout in Lawrence. Castiel makes a mental note of the areas and he tells some stories of his own. They laugh carelessly and Castiel finally notices how close they are. They fall into a pleasant and comforting silence, indulging in their own thoughts. Castiel turns his head to face the blond and Dean mirrors his action. Castiel attempts to read Dean’s expression before he hears someone clear their throat in the background, interrupting their mini staring contest. They quickly break eye-contact and Castiel turns to see Michael leaning against the doorframe watching them with his eyebrow raised. _Fuck, how long has he been standing there?_

Dean slowly stands up, “Ahem, well, it’s getting pretty late and I better get going or my old man’ll kill me.”

Castiel smiles with an understanding look, “I’ll walk you out.” He watches as Dean gets into his black 1967 Chevy Impala and drives away into the darkness. Castiel shuts the front door and heads back to the kitchen where his siblings are gathered.

“Who was that?” Michael asked with a tiny smile tugging at his lips.

“My _friend,_ Dean,” he replies nonchalantly, enunciating the word _friend_. 

“Yup, his _friend_ Mikey, don’t bother him about it, he gets cranky,” Gabriel says.

“Will you guys just stop fucking asking about it?” Castiel snaps. Pretty much everyone backs off and Castiel finally feels like he can breathe. As if on cue, his mother and Bartholomew walk through the front door with big bags of takeout food in their hands. Michael goes to give Naomi a hand and gracefully sweeps the heavy bags out of their mother’s arms and into his own.

“What’s the occasion?” Castiel asks curiously since they barely had family meals anymore.

“Well, we figured that it would be nice to have an actual meal together, so we got Chinese,” Naomi explains. Anna goes to help Gabriel set the table while Castiel stays with Michael, spooning all the food from the boxes to plates.

After dinner, Anna suggests that they should have a movie night in their home theatre downstairs. But, off course, Naomi and Bartholomew don’t have time so it’s just Castiel and his siblings. They picked out some Star Wars movie and halfway through it, Castiel decides to impulsively text Dean if he got home okay. He receives a reply from almost immediately. 

_Dean: Why? You worried about me? ;)_

_Castiel: In your dreams Winchester_

_Dean: Haha_

_Dean: But yea, I got home without a scratch on this pretty ass face_

_Castiel: Good :)_

Castiel texts Dean during most of the movie so when Anna asks him about his thoughts on a particular scene, he has no fucking clue what she’s talking about. His mind was elsewhere during the movie, thinking of freckles and green eyes instead of focusing on what was right in front of him.

What was actually there for him.

_Attainable._

After the movie is finished, Castiel goes back upstairs to take a shower. He lets his imagination run wild and spends a bit more time than he probably should have in the hot water. He lets the steam envelop his body and he closes his eyes, imagining Dean in the shower with him. The feeling of his chest pressed against Castiel’s back; washing his body for him.

Castiel puts one hand against the shower wall to steady himself, and the other on himself. His strokes start out slow but quickly becoming faster before he gasps raggedly as he reaches his climax. Before he knows it, all the evidence has washed down the drain. He turns the shower off and after he changes into his pajamas, he climbs into his ginormous bed and eventually falls asleep.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Castiel wakes up to the unpleasant sound of the gardener’s leaf blower. He groans in annoyance and grabs his phone from the nightstand to check the time. 11:45. _Fuck._ He quickly gets ready for the day and heads down the hallway towards the stairs. Castiel always dressed nicely; even on the weekends for no one but his family to see. He figures that he adopted it from his mother at a young age. He would pretty much only see her in exquisite well-tailored blazers since she was working all the time.

“Jesus, Cas. Your hair is fucking crazy,” Michael comments from the breakfast table. Although his whole vibe was fancy and polished, he never bothered to style his hair. He could never figure out what to do with it– when he slicked it back, he looked like a parrot. When he parted it to the side, he kind of looked like a 40-year-old man going through a midlife crisis. Hell, even when he tried to grow it out a bit, he low-key high-key looked like a stoner. So, he ended up just running his fingers through his hair a couple of times, and calling it a day.

Castiel shoots Michael a dirty look and grumbles, “Shut up.” He shuffles over to the counter to pour himself a cup of coffee for the day. Nothing comes out.

“Yeah… sorry. We’re all out– of literally everything.” Michael says without looking up from his phone. “So, you’re gonna have to run into town to get some groceries. Mom made you a list.” Castiel picks up the small piece of paper from the breakfast table and examines it.

“Ugh, can’t you or Gabriel do it?” Castiel complains.

“Nah, Gabriel took Anna to her swim meet and I’ve got a game later,” Michael replies. Castiel sighs in defeat and stuffs his phone in his pocket and picks up his keys from the console table next to the door.

He emerges from his car in the parking lot of ‘Singer’s Market’ and walks into the cool air-conditioned store. He strides through the aisles, picking up items on the list Naomi gave him and dumping them in his cart. As he turns into the bread aisle, he spots a familiar redhead looking down at her phone. 

“Hello, Charlie,” he says.

“Hey, Cas!” she replies, pulling him into a hug. Castiel stands there before he awkwardly puts his hands around her in return. He wasn’t very used to receiving hugs.

“God, you look dead today,” she jokes.

Castiel rubs his eyes and subconsciously runs his hand through his hair, “Perhaps it’s because I haven’t had my coffee yet.”

“Oh my god wait, I’m taking you to the Black Aroma Cafe!” Charlie says with an excited tone. “Their coffee is _the_ fucking best. You’ve gotta try it,”

“Alright, then. If you insist,” Castiel smiles.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

They order their drinks and settle down at one of the tables out in front of the small cafe. They sip their drinks and talk for a bit and Castiel finally decides to talk to Charlie about Dean.

“To tell you the truth…” he muttered, “I think I have a crush on Dean Winchester.”

“I fucking called it.” Charlie notices the bitter look on Castiel’s face, her facial expression immediately softening, and asks, “Shit what’s wrong?”

“This is very very _very_ fucking bad.”

“You know Cas, having feelings isn’t a bad thing,” she reasons.

“I’ve fallen for plenty of straight boys and gotten heartbroken. I don’t need that to happen again,” he replies.

Charlie huffs out a tiny laugh, “Oh don’t worry about that. Dean’s bi. He came out two years ago.”

Castiel lets out a small sigh of relief but it still doesn’t change the fact that Dean would probably never like someone like him. “Still, he probably wouldn’t like me back anyways.”

“Hey… even if Dean doesn’t like you back, he’s missing out. I promise you that you’ll find someone,” Charlie comforts Castiel. Castiel smiles sadly at his friend and takes another sip of his coffee. _But damn, this shit is good._

**SEPTEMBER 9TH, 2019**

Castiel and his friends are sitting at their usual table in the cafeteria discussing some random thing from their math class before he sees Dean approaching them.

Castiel swallows, “Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas,” he replies. “So you still up for 4:00 today?” 

Castiel knows he’s blushing. He was hoping to act as if they were just talking like normal friends, but his body betrays him.

“Um, yes,” he mumbled nervously.

Dean flashes him that million-dollar smile again. “Great! I’ll see you then.”

Castiel feels his friends eyeing him suspiciously and Charlie finally speaks up.

“My fucking ass, he doesn’t like you back. DID YOU SEE THE WAY HE SMILED AT YOU??”

Kevin looks at Charlie and then back at Castiel. “Wait… Like you _back?_ ”

“AHAHA, I called it, you like Dean!” Alfie practically yells.

“Yeah, yeah.” Charlie butts in. “Now you gotta tell us about what’s happening at four!”

“It’s no big deal, we’re just going to work on our project again, that’s all,” Castiel replies.

“ _Again?_ Ooh, you’re already moving on to the second date,” Kevin teases.

“Shut up,” Castiel says as he playfully throws his plastic fork at Kevin.


	3. Roslyn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Descriptions of a suicide attempt.
> 
> Also sorry for taking so long to update

**_OCTOBER, 2019_ **

September passes by quickly and soon there are homecoming posters up everywhere and students making big ‘HOCO?’ posters and asking people out in the middle of the hallways. Personally, Castiel finds this quite annoying because he is just trying to get to class.

Eventually, the day of Homecoming rolls around and Castiel has no plans. Naomi is working and his siblings are out being _social,_ leaving him alone with Bartholomew. For most of the morning, Castiel sits in the backyard and attempts to make a dent in the huge book that his grandfather, Zachariah, recently published. It is a poor excuse for a book, it’s honestly a textbook for students in _med school_. But, of course, Naomi forced him to read it because it would be “good for him”.

Once he reads until his eyes are sore, he sets the book down and takes a deep breath. It’s oddly quiet out today; he doesn’t hear any birds, the neighbours are quieter than usual (despite them all being rich old people with no kids), and his siblings aren’t around to yell at him.

He takes in the serene background for a few minutes before he picks up his book and heads back inside. He fishes for his phone under the massive pile of papers and Charlie had blown up his phone.

_Charlie: Come to homecoming with us!_

_Charlie: It’ll be fun_

_Charlie: Don’t be a tightass, please_

_Charlie: Maybe you could ask Dean ;)_

Castiel rolls his eyes before texting her back.

_Castiel: Isn’t it a bit late? It’s tonight anyways_

_Charlie: Nooo, you can buy a ticket at the door_

_Charlie: Pleaseee_

_Castiel: No_

_Charlie: I heard Dean’ll be there_

_Castiel: Still no_

_Charlie: IF YOU COME WITH US I’LL STOP BOTHERING YOU ABOUT DEAN_

Okay, that was a good offer.

_Castiel: Maybe_

_Charlie: I’ll take that as a yes! What’s your address, we’re coming to your house at 6_

_Castiel: 410 Ox Pasture Road. At the top of the hill_

_Charlie: See you then :))_

∘ ₊ ✧ _──────_ ✧ ₊ ∘

His friends arrive at his house at six, all dressed up and nice while Castiel is still in his sweatpants. He motions for them to come inside and Charlie hands everyone masquerade masks since the theme this year is “Masquerade On Bourbon Street”. She also scolds Castiel for even thinking of going to Homecoming in sweatpants.

“Come on, we’ve gotta get you ready to impress all the guys there,” Charlie says, forcing Castiel to lead her to his room.

“How’d you even know I like guys?” Castiel asks with genuine curiosity. “I don’t remember ever telling you guys. My _parents_ don’t even know.”

“My gaydar is immaculate,” she replies as she opens the closet doors, revealing a dark sea of clothing. She takes one look at Castiel’s monochromatic closet before asking, “Do you even own anything colourful?”

“Sure I do!” Castiel argues, pulling out a horrendous navy blue and orange tie that his mother made him wear to his recital in second grade.

Charlie snorts and points at the trash can tucked tidily underneath Castiel’s desk. “That belongs there!” Castiel scoffs at Charlie’s remark and smiles while he places the tie back in his accessory drawer. 

Charlie picks out three different outfits for Castiel to try on and show to the others before they settle on the third one; a simple black suit with a navy tie. He hears Kevin and Alfie yell at them from downstairs to hurry up and they shuffle down the stairs to meet them.

“I guess I’ll drive,” Castiel offers.

“Nuh, uh.” he hears Gabriel declare. “I’m driving ya. You guys should have fun. Especially you,” he points at Castiel. “Get drunk or something.”

“Gabriel,” Castiel squints at his older brother. “I’m not getting drunk tonight.”

“Whatever you say, let’s get going, or else we’ll be late.”

All five of them piled into Gabriel’s white seven-seater Range Rover with Alfie and Castiel in the middle, and Kevin and Charlie in the back because they were smaller.

The whole drive to the school, Charlie and Gabriel were arguing about which pornstar would smell the best (and _don’t_ even get Castiel started on how the topic was introduced to the conversation) while Kevin, Alfie, and Castiel talked about… _normal_ stuff.

Castiel could see many students with their dates and friends in front of the gymnasium as they pulled up to the drop-off zone.

“Text me when you need me to pick you guys up and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Gabriel calls out before driving out back onto the street.

Charlie laughs a bit, “I like your brother, he’s funny.”

“Well, Gabriel’s Gabriel,” Castiel responds.

“Why isn’t he coming? Isn’t he a senior?” Alfie asks.

“He said, and I quote, I have _better_ things to do if you know what I mean,” Castiel says with air quotes around the word _better_. They laugh as they slip on their masks and head inside.

Everyone gets handed a light-up bracelet that synchronises to the beat of a song when they enter the gym. There are big cutouts of masquerade masks as decorations with black and gold balloons and garlands lining the ceiling. Charlie leaves them to find her girlfriend, Dorothy, and Kevin goes to meet up with his girlfriend, Channing. The flashing bracelets on top of the strobe lights practically give Castiel a seizure so he and Alfie make their way to the back where the bleachers are.

Castiel spends most of his time sitting at the bleachers, occasionally grabbing punch from the table in between the two bleachers. He makes his third trip to the punch table, casually scooping punch into his cup and walking back to the bleachers as the DJ announces that the last slow song of the night comes on. He sits on the top row of bleachers and sips the cherry flavoured punch while he watches couples slow dance.

He scans the room and sees Dean approaching the bleachers. He can’t help but notice how fucking _good_ Dean looks in a suit. The suit is black… sharp-looking, and well-fitted. Dean’s face lights up with a smile when they make eye contact, before running up the bleachers to sit next to Castiel. “Hey, you made it! What are you doing sitting up here?”

“There’s really nothing to do,” he answers.

"Well, do you dance?" Dean asks with a glint in his eyes.

"Only if I'm asked properly," Castiel replies, adjusting his mask.

"Okay then... Castiel Novak-Shurley, wanna dance with me?"

Castiel freezes. He was _not_ expecting Dean to ask him to dance. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun! Plus, you look so lonely here by yourself,” he adds, grabbing Castiel’s arm and pulling him into the crowd.

_Great, a pity dance._

“But I’ve never danced before!” 

“Here, I’ll teach you,” Dean says, carefully placing his hands on Castiel’s lower back. Cas looks around and mimics everyone else, placing his hands loosely around Dean’s neck.

“Like this?” Castiel asks, looking at the ground, trying not to step on Dean’s feet. Dean laughs quietly and nods. They sway awkwardly at first, before falling into a comfortable rhythm.

Castiel looks up at Dean and he stares back at Castiel with a smirk tugging at his lips. He raises his hand from Castiel’s waist to take Castiel’s mask off and he does the same with his own. “So, how was this for your first dance?”

“It was very pleasant,” Castiel replies with a smile.

“Good.”

Before he could register what just happened, Dean suddenly apologises and tells him that his friend had an emergency in the bathroom before disappearing into the crowd. Castiel is left alone in his thoughts, and he subconsciously rubs the long vertical scar on his forearm as a force of habit.  


_He pities you Castiel._

_That’s the only reason why he danced with you._

_Lonely, worthless piece of shit.  
_

∘ ₊ ✧ ────── ✧ ₊ ∘

Castiel follows Gabriel’s advice at the after-party; he gets wasted. He honestly likes the feeling. He feels lighter. Almost like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. At some point, Meg offers him a weed brownie and he drunkenly accepts it. 

Somehow, Castiel ends up on the floor of the pantry and he manages to devour half a jar of red vines. He’s pretty delirious when he hears a knock on the door and sees Dean enter the pantry.

“Oh, hiya Dean-ooo,” Castiel giggles, waving his hand for Dean to come closer. He joins Castiel on the cold floor before he whispers with wide eyes, “There’s four of you.”

Dean snorts at Castiel’s comment and shakes his head a bit. “Dude, are you stoned?”

Castiel grins, “Generally. But, turns out, being drunk as fuck and stoned is a fat L.” Dean stifles his laughter and leans his head against one of the shelves and stares up at the ceiling. The two are sitting side by side, their shoulders touching and Castiel takes in Dean’s gorgeous features. Despite the small room being dimly lit, the light hits Dean’s face just right, displaying his brilliant green eyes.

_God, he’s so kissable right now._

His sober mind and cross-faded mind were battling in his head, but, his drunk/stoned conscience wins.

Without warning, Castiel grabs Dean’s cheek, leans in, and presses their lips together. Dean hesitates at first, but he eventually gives in and kisses Castiel back. Dean tastes sweet, a mix of spearmint gum and a hint of beer that he’d probably drank earlier. After what feels like minutes– hours– days even, Dean breaks the kiss to say something, with their foreheads pressed together.

“God, Cas,” they stay so close together that he’s murmuring into Castiel’s mouth. “You don’t know how much I want to, but not when you’re like this.”

“Why not?” Castiel breathes, climbing on top of Dean’s lap to straddle his hips. He slides his hands up Dean’s shirt but Dean grabs his hand, stopping him before he does something that he’ll regret.

“You’re high, and I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

Castiel visibly deflates and holds his head in his arms. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Dean replies quietly, wrapping his arms around Castiel. Castiel leans into the touch, resting his head against Dean’s chest. They sit quietly against the wall, with Dean still holding Castiel.

“I really have to throw up but the weed makes me… not barf,” Castiel states.

“Let’s get you home now, okay?”

Castiel mumbles a tiny _okay_ and Dean helps Castiel up. He sways back and forth, but Dean slides his hand around his torso before he can fall. Castiel holds onto Dean’s shoulder for support, and they hobble to the front door. Charlie spots the two almost immediately and goes to help.

“I’ll take it from here, thanks.”

Dean nods and pats Castiel’s shoulder before he slips into the crowd. Charlie texts Kevin and Alfie to come outside, and then she calls Gabriel.

Once Gabriel drops Castiel’s friends off at their houses and they arrive back at home, Gabriel looks at Castiel with a worried expression on his face.

“Are you okay?”

Castiel snorts and chuckles, “Peachy.”

“… Are you sure? Because, the last time this happened, you ended up in the psych ward for four months.”

“I’m _fine_.” Castiel snaps. Gabriel is quiet for a moment before he helps Castiel out of the car, taking him inside.

They sneak in through the back door, to avoid causing too much noise, and they tiptoe up the stairs. Gabriel changes Castiel into his pyjamas and he makes him go to bed.

∘ ₊ ✧ ────── ✧ ₊ ∘

_The dream starts off as a distant memory…_

_The bathroom tiles are cold._

_The silence is deafening; the only sounds present are the occasional footsteps of students walking down the halls and his pulse ringing in his ears._

_He feels the blood pooling underneath his light body. The pungent sweet coppery scent filling the air._

_He is lightheaded, and his eyes feel heavy, but the pain is no longer there._

_His grip on the scalpel he had stolen from his mother loosens, and he stares up at the ceiling lights– it was brighter. Everything is brighter._

_No one is coming._

_No one cares._

_He closes his eyes, ready to be taken away._

_When he reopens his eyes, he is in an uncomfortable, yet familiar setting. He looks down at his arms and there are no scars. He wanders around, finding a set of stairs that seems to go on forever. Just as he takes his first step, the floor starts to sink. Instinctively, he runs up the stairs to avoid getting sucked into the darkness, but he fails._

_He lands in nothing._

_Empty._

_A strange song faintly plays in the distance._

_…_

_Sea and the rock below_

_Cocked to the undertow_

_Bones, blood and teeth erode_

_They will be crashing low_

_Wings wouldn't help you_

_Wings wouldn't help you down_

_Down towards the ground_

_Gravity smiled_

_You barely are blinking_

_Wagging your face around_

_When'd this just become a mortal home?_

_Won't, won't, won't, won't, won't let you talk me . . ._

_Won't let you talk me down_

_We'll pull it taut_

_Nothing let out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is "Roslyn" by Bon Iver if any of y'all wanna listen to it :)

**Author's Note:**

> I like using pictures and stuff so here are some links :)
> 
> Castiel's house: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/410-Ox-Pasture-Rd-Southampton-NY-11968/111526506_zpid/
> 
> Dean's house: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/244-Earhart-Cir-Lawrence-KS-66049/74580794_zpid/


End file.
